Mommy's Little Helpers

I've been sick all week. It's just a cold, but it's been the kind that sucks all Life Force out of my body, and yet is still somehow not bad enough for me to call in sick (say it with me, all you Moms out there: har, har). Anyway, after 4 days of my wallowing in self pity, you can just imagine how the house looks. Bear in mind, last Sunday was Father's Day, and although I managed to pull together The Dinner, I was too dead by the end of the day to clean up The Mess. I pretty much managed to keep the kids fed, and go grocery shopping, but that's it. Well, I did laundry and dishes, too, I guess. But not with Oomph!

Today I'm to that point wherein my Life Force is basically back up to normal, but I'm still riddled with snot and need my ears to pop. In discussing that last bit with my mom today, though, it occurred to us that having muffled hearing is more blessing than curse in a house with three boys. Nevertheless, today is Cleanup Day! Clean off the counters! Box up the toys! Trash the 8 million pieces of shredded paper the kids have strewn about while Mommy was out of commission! Vacuum! Sweep!

Ah, yes. Sweeping. The boys' favorite chore. I've got tile running from my front door all the way back through my kitchen. Basically, we have one smallish patch of carpeting for the living room, and the entire rest of the downstairs is tile (slap the next person who suggests to you that tile is easy to clean). My method, agree with it or not, is to start at the front door and sweep everything into the kitchen. I generally just sweep right past the formal dining room that's near the front door, since we've used it one time, I think, since moving here.

So today I had just gotten my tidy little pile of sweepings just past the dining room when Joseph comes a-running with a second broom. "I'll help, Mommy! I'll help!" And BAM goes the stiff outdoors broom into my tidy little pile. Then he starts whapping the broom around (helpfully) to cast all dirt asunder. I can just see his sweet (helpful) little thoughts: "Take THAT, dirt! And THAT!"

"Ha, ha! Thank you Joseph! Thats enough helping," Mommy says in a voice that sounds not quite right for the Cool she's trying to pass off.

Well, he wasn't done sweeping yet, so I sent him to a part of the kitchen where he could still feel helpful and do less damage. Then I reclaimed my strewn pile, and here comes Ben with broom number three. "I'll help, too!" Only instead of a direct attack on my own pile, he runs right past me to cover the part I've already swept. I thank my lucky stars for the near miss and leave him to it, since what damage can he do in an already swept area, right?

Five minutes later, he comes proudly before me. "I found something special for me to do, Mommy! I swept out all the dirt from under the cabinets!" Yes, he had gone to the place Mommy usually ignores - the formal dining room - and swept out 6-month-old dust bunnies from under the china cabinet. And while he's proudly showing me the new covering of dirt over my already-swept area, he begins whooshing his broom in great arcs over it, to do some strewing of his own. "Sweep, sweep, sweep," he says with each whooshing arc.

And you know what all the child-raising experts say? I'm supposed to be COOL with this. SO happy they're helping and all that. Man, I can't pull it off. However, I did manage to keep from screaming my bloody head off. I mean, they were awfully happy to be helping. So I cast Ben off to the kitchen as well, and finished up pretty much without further incident. That I can remember, anyway.

I tell you what, though. Joseph sans broom is actually my best kitchen helper. He loves putting away dishes, and I discovered at the end of the Sweep-o-Rama that he has a natural knack with a dustpan. I just need to buy him a mini-broom.

Oh, and Joshua got his stitches out today!