How Children Grow Over Night

Every once in awhile, I look at one of our boys and am surprised to see that they look older. I mean, I expect that they are going to age and grow, but it generally happens so gradually that I hardly notice, except for these times of which I am speaking, times when I look at them and ask myself, “when did they get so big?” Most recently this has happened with Josh. Josh is – in some ways – the odd-ball in our little brood (can you have a little brood?): he has a fairer complexion and is not so brawny as Ben is or as little Joseph looks like he will become. Clothing him has always been difficult because he is thin and long, and children’s clothing is not made for thin, long children. He has always looked like a little pixie, or (more often) a little imp to me, but the other day I looked at him and had one of those moments; it was as if he had aged a year overnight.

I pondered this. Obviously, children don’t suddenly age overnight; growing is an ongoing and gradual process. Is it just that I’m not paying attention most of the time? I hope not. No, I think maybe it is something else. My working theory is that somewhere deep inside our minds, we have preconceived notions of what children look like at certain stages of development; they’re like little mental images that are models of what, for example, a toddler looks like, or a six-year-old, or a pre-teen, and so on. These models are very specific; a millimeter can make all the difference between somebody who fits the model and somebody who doesn’t. As children grow they eventually hit a point of development where they fit into one of these models, and that is something that can happen overnight, as they grow that last millimeter so that they fit perfectly into one of our mental models. It is when this happens that we suddenly look at the child and have one of those moments of awe.

I don’t know; it’s just a theory; the kind of thing my mind reaches for to explain something so inexplicable. Ultimately, the reason doesn’t matter, and it’s just a curiosity. What does matter is that my boys are growing all the time. Josh is getting to be a big kid. His speech is improving so much, and he is maturing – well, as much as a three-year old can be expected to mature. He has interests (Disneyland being the number one interest – just ask him), and I feel like he is starting to get over his mischievousness; although, getting over his mischievousness does us little good, since he has passed the torch onto Joseph, who is becoming a wily rascal in his own right. In any case, Josh is a great kid. When I get him away from the others for a few moments and have just some one-on-one time with him, and all is quiet, his sweetness really shines. In a way, Josh epitomizes youth, with all of its carefree joy and curiosity and wildness and life; and life is a real gift for Josh, who had to struggle so hard those first three months of his life, after being born prematurely. One would hardly know it now, for he is so full of vigor. I hope that he never loses that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that he’s learning to control his “craziness,” (or as he likes to say it, when speaking of rides at Disneyland, “so be crazy, so be silly”), but I hope that he will always remain that wonderful breath of summertime and playfulness that he is now.