The Boy With All the Answers

Joshua has discovered his sense of humor. He has a quick comeback for everything. Everything! And if he can't think of anything genuinely funny, he'll fill in the dead space with the word "poop." But here are two good non-poop examples. I only wish I could convey his timing as well as his words. His timing is impeccable. Absolute perfection.

Example 1

At Family Home Evening yesterday, Joshua and his cousin Stacey are discussing movies they like to watch. Joshua's currently on a Star Wars (Empire Strikes Back) kick.

STACEY: I don't like Star Wars.

JOSHUA: I don't like pants.

Example 2

As mentioned below, today was just an "on" day for all the children, and Josh was no exception. After Daddy came home from work he popped in Fellowship of the Ring to experience with our new surround-sound setup (pretty dang sweet!). I was cooking, but wanted to experience as much as I could and so attempted hushing Joshua, who was making some sort of unholy noise (I don't remember exactly what. All the noises from today are now blended together in my brain into an unearthly hum).

Joshua's response to this was to begin shouting "Don't quiet me, Mommy!" over and over while doing some sort of bizarre ballet leap/twist to emphasize his point. And one leap took his face smack into our metal-and-wood stair railing at high velocity. It was one of those sounds that makes a parent instantly forget all annoyance and go running for the Hug (the one that allows you to simultaneously check for blood or other damage).

So I'm hugging and checking and asking questions, and Daddy comes up and takes a look and tells Josh he's fine. Josh, who has himself confirmed that he's fine, continues whimpering. Daddy says "Now, make sure you don't milk it, Josh. I really think you're fine. Don't milk it for sympathy!"

Joshua, eyes closed, face mildly contorted in fake agony, whimpers pitifully "I need... a chocolate bar."

I'm sure I've written it wrong, because it doesn't read as funny as it sounded at the time. Matt and I were laughing for a good chunk of time over that one. Again, a lot of it is the timing. And his perfect deadpan. Man, what an interesting future his ought to be.