Two Embarrassing Confessions

1) I don't have any kind of a grasp on the whole "Immigrant Debate."

2) I didn't even care that I knew so little about it, since my life remained totally unaffected by it, including yesterday's Big Day.

...Until this morning, that is. This morning, our friendly neighborhood construction zone started up at FIVE FREAKING THIRTY. A.M.!!!! And then I realized how blissfully quiet things were around here yesterday, smack in the middle of Construction Central. So I guess today there's either guilt or an edict from The Man. Either way, I am very, very tired, thanks to the machinery letting rip a mere half-hour before alarm time.

So now I need to know what's going on, and you can be sure that I've read the AP and Reuters and DFW Star-Telegram coverage, and it's told me a whole lot of nothing. So if anybody can answer my questions without confusing me with rhetoric or sarcasm or even good ol' snide remarks (I'm looking at you, boys of the 101st), feel free! Keep in mind that these are probably dumb questions, which is why I find my confessions so embarrassing. It reveals me to the world as a poorly informed (by choice) person. There just aren't many sources of information I trust. Or understand.

First of all, what is it about the current legal procedure for immigration that makes it so difficult? Money? Resistance from their home governments? Takes too long? Is the process somehow otherwise really really difficult? Money doesn't make sense, because it seems many stories of illegal immigration involve giving your life savings - thousands of dollars - over to some creepy person who will smuggle you into the country if they don't kill you first. Government resistance would suggest that those government should then shut up about the way we're treating any immigrants. Or ask for them back. Or something. Does anybody know the process well enough to explain it to me?

Next question: Please tell me that there aren't really truly 1.1 million people who think they're entitled to free Status Change after having flouted the law (even if only just one) for however long they've been here. Is that really what they're rallying for? A total free ride? Or am I missing something? I really hope (and trust) I'm missing something.

How does making them all felons solve anything? Do we even have the resources to track down every illegal immigrant, round 'em up, imprison them and deport them? And is that really what this legislation is proposing? It seems nonsensical. Wouldn't it be cheaper - even just a little - to provide a second chance at going through the proper channels for citizenship? Again, I feel I'm missing something. Something huge. Stronger borders? How will that even work?

Was I really supposed to feel crushed by not having access to Mexican food for one day?

And then I guess the last of my questions (that I can think of right now, anyway) is this: How is it that it's the LEFT who are such major supporters of all these demonstrations? Aren't these the same people who think America's not worth fighting for? That we're such a crappy nation that we deserve to be attacked? Now they're telling all the world "we're so great you should come here and grab your measure of The American Dream. Free for the taking!" Or is it that they're hoping to grant voting privileges to the very grateful millions? Yeah, that makes sense, come to think of it.

Okay, there it is, all laid out in black and white for all to see, and I KNOW I'm going to regret it later. I always do. But it would be such a relief if I got some answers before I pull the post down in red-faced shame. So thanks in advance if you're even considering it!