The Second Time Around

There's a topic that has been, to a certain degree, conspic. by its a. (as Bertie Wooster would say) from the family blogs - The Wedding. I suppose it's because the whole family knows about it already and there's not much to report that we don't all already know. But it's a huge deal, and it's very cool. And something related to it got me thinking mushy thoughts today. (Warning: Mushy thoughts follow!)

** A quick catch-up for any non-family who may stumble across this: My father, a good man, died suddenly in 2000, the day before his and my mother's 44th wedding anniversary. To make a long story short, there followed thereafter five long years of crapola thrown Mom's way in many different forms, and then she began dating Bob. He is also a good man, and now they are engaged and will be married in just a couple of weeks and we couldn't be happier for her. She's happier now than I've seen her in a donkey's age. Bob looks really happy, too, and the mere fact that he proposed to my mother shows he has a good head on his shoulders. Bob was also married to a good woman who passed away quite suddenly. So this marriage is a second go 'round for both, and one that I think neither was really expecting. One of those good surprises. **

So today Mom gave me the song they've decided they'd like to have at their wedding. It's an old crooner called The Second Time Around, and the lyrics are fantastic for a second marriage. Check them out:

Love is lovelier the second time around
Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground
It's that second time you hear your love song sung
Makes you think, perhaps, that love, like youth
Is wasted on the young

Love's more comfortable the second time you fall
Like a friendly home the second time you call
Who can say what led us to this miracle we've found?
There are those who'll bet love comes but once and yet
I'm oh so glad we met the second time around

Now here's why I'm blogging it: It's also great for a first marriage. See, Matt and I are closing in fast on our seventh wedding anniversary, and I've been wondering almost since before we were even married what Seven Year Itch was all about. You grow up hearing about it from so many corners (TV) that it begins to feel like fact. I've just been expecting it. And the closer we get to The Anniversary, the more curious I get. I mean, he doesn't bug me yet.... Does it happen suddenly? Right ON the seventh anniversary? The year following? It surely must be a Rite of Passage of marriage... right?

It occurred to me after reading through this song that Seven Year Itch really isn't a necessary part of marriage. I haven't ever fallen out of love with my DH (I believe is the Internet term for him), and so haven't really fallen in love for a second time. But the longer we're together, the more we learn about each other and the more layers to each other, ourselves, and our relationship are revealed. And these revelations keep him interesting to me - keep our relationship interesting to me.

It also helps that we were solid friends before romance ever entered the picture. Romance is nice and makes things fun, but the friendship is what makes a marriage functional and productive. No matter how many socks I find hidden in the couch cushions, I genuinely LIKE my husband. He makes me laugh and he's very smart and interesting, and even our disagreements can just be a lot of fun (in fact, we play a lot of Devil's Advocate just for the sheer mental exercise of it. Yes, we're that lame.). The fact that seven years into our marriage he's more thoughtful and considerate than ever is also a bonus. ;)

My point is, seven years after The Deed, both feet are definitely on the ground, and it's every bit as wonderful, and even more, than the first giddy year or two. No Seven Year Itch for me. I'm having too much fun.